View Full Version : Dear Tech Support

12-14-2004, 05:04 PM
Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and have experienced a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 has disabled other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4 and PGA 4.2. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but without success. What can I do?


Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package! , while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C :/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.

Caution: overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications like Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.5, or reinstall another Boyfriend program! These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.. They could also cause Husband 1.0 to default to Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and doesn't learn new applications quickly. You might consider installing additional software to enhance the system performance. I personally recommend SingleMaltScotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old stand-by Lingerie 6.9 (which should also improve performance of Husband 1.0's hardware).

Good luck! Tech Support

......((((hahah :D i found these funny letters on the web so i thought i wod be posting em here i have some more ... lols if u guys want ne of these just ask for the one u want and i will post it here ...tina))))).....

A Polish Mother's Letter Written To Her Son - A humorous letter to written by a mother to her son about life back at home.

The Chain Letter - One that has a funny twist if not followed to the letter, a chain letter that is.

The Accident Report - Not sure whether this is an actual letter sent to an insurance company about a worker's many misfortunes. But it sure is funny!

Stocks & Securities Audit Letter - A funny take on a letter that one might receive from a securities firm during an audit if holding just the right kinds of stocks.

Dear Ann Landers Letter - Not your typical letter you would expect one to get published by Ann Landers. But it does have its humorous moments!

A Letter From Playgirl - How would you like to be embarrassed after sending your picture into Playgirl for their "Man of the Month Centerfold"? This poor guy surely did!

A Letter To A Friend In Korea - A letter written to a soldier in Korea by one of his friends back in the States. What makes this letter so funny is how this friend describes the things going on in his home and with his wife.

That Letter About The Warehouse Job - The bad grammar and spelling in which this letter was written, it's no wonder why this guy never got paid for his job.

Santa's Answers to Emails - Have you ever wondered how Santa responds to letters. Well, click here to read some funny answers to emails from Santa.

Don't Lie To Your Mother - Read how a man gets caught in a lie with his mother.

U.S Apology to China - Read an amusing letter sent to China to apologize for the collison between their fighter plan and a U.S. spy plane

To Home With Love - Read a letter from a son to his father and a response from the father to son that adds a little humor to subliminal messages.

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Kindness - Read a funny letter written from an elderly woman to a group of children who gave her a radio.

Pleading - Read our latest funny letter about a boy who has two $100 bills.

Husband 1.0 Software - If there were ever software developed on Husbands this would take first prize.

A Redneck Letter - A funny letter written by an Aunt to a redneck nephew.

A Letter Home From Bosnia - This is suppose to be a true letter that was written to the parents of marine stationed in Bosnia.

Another Dear Abby - A humorous letter from a woman to Dear Abby complaining about her lying, cheating husband.

Military Rules For Non-Military Personnel - A funny story about a letter written from a Sergeant to all non-military personnel.

California Driver's License Application/Exam - A new (and humorous) California driver's license application and examination form based on the unique culture in Los Angeles today.

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Letter To a Mother - A letter written to mother from her daughter.

A Letter to the American People - A letter written by a disgruntle senior citizen about the Bush Administration.

Best Resignation Letter Ever Written - A supposed letter of resignation from an employee at a computer company, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! It's Funny, but a bit harsh.

Getting Even - A letter to friends and family for all the chain letters sent over the years that keeps one from doing the things they may like to do.

Infidelity - Two funny letters written between a husband and wife about their infidelity.

Dear Diary - A funny entry into one man's diary about the one week of physical training his wife bought him for his 50th Birthday.

Letter From Martha Stewart - A funny letter from Martha Stewart about making slippers as Christmas gifts while in prison.:tongue: :peace: :bleh: