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The Believer
03-07-2005, 03:37 AM
Hi everyone,
Please read the bellow and say which one you like.

New Rules for Employment

SICK LEAVE AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

BEREVEMENT LEAVE: this is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friend, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary , the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

YOUR OWNDEATH: this will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going alphabetical order. For instance all employees whose name begin with
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ A’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ B ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and son on. If you ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ re unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ supervisors in writing must approve this exchange.
In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks.

Sepehr
03-07-2005, 09:51 PM
Originally posted by The Believer
Hi everyone,
Please read the bellow and say which one you like.

New Rules for Employment

SICK LEAVE AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

BEREVEMENT LEAVE: this is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friend, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary , the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

YOUR OWNDEATH: this will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going alphabetical order. For instance all employees whose name begin with
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ A’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ B ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and son on. If you ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ re unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ supervisors in writing must approve this exchange.
In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks.

they are all nice and funny dear :D :hehe: specially the one concerning ur own death :hehe:

AFN

The Believer
03-08-2005, 12:17 AM
Originally posted by Aarian
they are all nice and funny dear :D :hehe: specially the one concerning ur own death :hehe:

AFN

Thanks .:) You liked my own death?:cry: Do you really wait for my death???:rolleyes

Sepehr
03-08-2005, 12:29 AM
Originally posted by The Believer
Thanks .:) You liked my own death?:cry: Do you really wait for my death???:rolleyes
oh no dear !! :)

I was talking about this one !!!
YOUR OWNDEATH: this will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement. :hip:

AFN

The Believer
03-08-2005, 12:45 AM
Originally posted by Aarian
oh no dear !! :)

I was talking about this one !!!
YOUR OWNDEATH: this will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement. :hip:

AFN

Ok, That is ok now.
BTW I was just teasing u.:naughty:

Sepehr
03-11-2005, 11:19 PM
Originally posted by The Believer
Ok, That is ok now.
BTW I was just teasing u.:naughty:

by the way , dont tease me again otherwise I will mention that Red Rose :D :naughty: ;)

AFN

The Believer
03-13-2005, 08:22 PM
Originally posted by Aarian
by the way , dont tease me again otherwise I will mention that Red Rose :D :naughty: ;)

AFN

Ok, I will not do it again KHOOSSSSHHHHHH???????:)

Yak_Dukhtare_Pak
03-16-2005, 03:34 PM
:D .. ppl thinking about working for me will have to follow each one of those rules, in addition to my own rules;)